- May 19, 2019
overhauled template with new one. No content changed
Edits made. Took out the 'blooded' part and nerfed her ability. Anything else I need to edit?On anything player-controlled it is a risk that I don't think needs to be there. Perhaps actually allow magic to resist her ability, either slow it or if the mage is sufficiently powerful enough. Anything that leaves other characters an avenue to overpower it (however small, not every player has to be able to, it just can't be limitless)
In addition, I would like for you to change a small detail of the backstory pertaining to the character's parents. Blooded Nobles in general do not have to fear persecution as they are beholden only to the Magistrates or the Empress herself, neither of which would logically care if their child was a monster as this or not. I'd recommend if you want to continue the persecution angle they either be lowered to lesser nobility, or they're taken out of the Empire in its entirety.
EDIT: Eye contact works, as well.